“Missing someone gets easier everyday because even though you are one day further from the last time you saw them, you are one day closer to the next time you will.” ~Unknown
14 Jun 2011 Leave a Comment
in Family, Life, School, Wicca Tags: Arizona, Destrey, graduate, life, loneliness, love, Mississippi, Prom
First, I had to give a long overdue update on things. Then, I will get to the meaning behind my title quote.
Ok, let me thing about what has happened since January….
I’ll start by summing put the subject of high school in two words, I graduated. As for college, it’s a little longer story. I am going to Prescott in August, I do have enough money to cover it all, and I am getting an apartment on my own (for a little while at least). This is where it gets complicated and subjects start to blend together. I am going to be living out in Arizona, but by the beginning of December Destrey will be living with me. Now I guess I have to explain how that happened too since the last thing I mentioned about him was our relationship was possibly doomed to he is moving in with me. This is Destrey by the way:
Ok, well, to start, Destrey and I are much, much closer than before. I am completely open and honest with him, and I do truly love him more than anyone else. He has helped me through a lot. Including a recent suicide scare a little over a month ago, but that is something I won’t go into detail about. Anyways, we have been inseparable, even when he is currently visiting his family in Mississippi for the summer. Sure we have our little arguments and we know how to really push either others buttons, but that is to be expected. He has helped me, not just through some life trials, but made me permanently a better person. He is my optimist, he helps me not worry so much, and to let go of little things that I shouldn’t let bother me. So when he does turn 18 at the end of November I will come back for him and we are going to live in Arizona together. He will finish his senior year there, then go to college. While I will continue at Prescott. And if that doesn’t go according to plan he will move in with my family since they love him like a son already.
As for family things are crazier than ever. My mom had a broken foot from walking, then just as that foot was almost healed she broken her other foot in an accident as Sam’s Club. So she was down for a while, including after my sister had her second surgery. He first one went well and she only had the colostomy bag for a little over 8 weeks. It wasn’t as bad as we all thought it would be. And thankfully not many complications. My health has been pretty great, other than the depression episode.
Oh, I forgot to mention something! I went to Prom, with Destrey of course. It was beautiful, the theme was “A Night in Paris.” Here are some pictures:
Onto the subject of Wicca. I haven’t been as engaged as I would like to be, but I have been working a lot lately. But I am still learning what I can, when I can. Destrey is even starting to study it. I’m trying to help him look at other religions too, because I would rather him not study Wicca just for me.
And speaking of work, I have been dying there! Not really. It’s gotten much better actually. I think I’ve just gotten used to the routine of it now, so I’m staying until I leave for Arizona in August. I even got a raise! It’s not much at all (only $0.15) but it’s more than I was making before and they don’t give raises to part-times often. Anyways, I’m trying to pick up as many hours as I can in the next few weeks so I can get ahead in case I don’t get a job right away in Arizona.
Now to the meaning behind my title. As I briefly mentioned before, Destrey is gone. He is in Mississippi visiting his mom, stepdad, and twin 4-year-old sisters. I miss him a lot, more than I’ve missed anyone. He was going to come back and visit for a week on June 23rd but it didn’t happen, tickets were too high and I don’t trust his mom to let him come back after the way she treated me. I did visit during Spring Break for a week. It was ok, but some incidents happened that made his parents there not the biggest fans of our relationship. They don’t think we will last (my parents would kill me if I did anything to ruin mine and Destrey’s relationship). They are also not happy he is going to Arizona with me, they yelled at him for hours the day after I left Mississippi. And he changed his mind, so I’m worried about that too. I don’t want to lose him like that, it nearly killed me the first time. I just want him home. I miss him so much.
I think that is everything for now. I will try to get back to writing more soon.
“We can throw stones, complain about them, stumble on them, climb over them, or build with them.” ~William Arthur Ward
12 Jan 2011 Leave a Comment
in Family, Friends, Life, School Tags: Chicago, Destrey, family, Prescott, Prom, school, senior, work
Life has been wonderful lately. Busy, but wonderful.
My job is hard and stressful, but they really like me. I think I am going to turn down any offers to continue working there after my 90 days though. It’s not that I don’t like the job, I just don’t like having so many bosses who can’t stand each other. And when they decide not to talk I get told to do three different things from three different bosses and they all want it done at the same time. And the hours, not great, not even nice. I just wish I didn’t have to leave all my coworkers, I’ve made some good friends, and there are days when I enjoy working there. But sadly the bad outweighs the good too often. This isn’t a final decision, just a possible reality. Of course I will have to get another job first. I’m going to look at the jewelry stores in the mall. I love working with jewelry, and I’m really good with it.
Then my sister finally has her surgery scheduled for the 21st of this month, so that’s next Friday. I’m looking at it as positive, a chance for her to be normal again. She has pushed away all chances of friendship because she is so self conscious of the way she looks now. She isn’t the teeny little twig she used to be and that bothers her, even if she does look better now then before.
And since Destrey got back from his trip we have gotten much closer. I have gone over to his house, which was awkward but a nice change. Then he came over to my house for dinner on Sunday, which was fun. That is a huge step for me, none of my past boyfriends have met my parents. Actually, no boy my age has ever been in any house I’ve lived in. But like I said, it was nice, I hope we aren’t completely doomed when I go off to college. I’m hoping we can last that year until he graduates and we can make something work from there; we probably will.
Oh, and then there is PROM! And SENIOR TRIP! I already have a dress I like, it is probably extremely expensive but I want to do something crazy and fun for once, especially if I have to suffer through dancing. I honestly can’t dance to save my life! I’m thinking I will need about $500 for prom, and with a job hopefully I can get there. And thankfully when I got my test scores back they were in the top percentage so I get 2 free prom tickets, which are worth $50!
Then there is SENIOR TRIP to Chicago! I’m going, no matter what! I’ve never really been in a huge city like that, and I probably never will if I don’t go this year. It is going to be $320 for three days, room, food, transportation, and activities included. That is an amazing deal! Plus I get to go with all my friends and it is during school, you can’t beat that!
As for school, well, not wonderful. My grades need a little improvement because of the hours I work I don’t have time for homework. But they will be better by the end of the trimester, I’m sure of it. And hopefully come next trimester I will have a class with Destrey!
College searching is done. I’ve definitely got my heart set on Prescott. I’ve already done the application and I’m about halfway through the essay. Today I actually got an email from Prescott about scholarships. Two of them I qualify for, and together they would pay for all 4 years!
So yeah, life is good…
“A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It’s jolted by every pebble on the road.” ~Henry Ward Beecher
28 Dec 2010 2 Comments
in Uncategorized
Just thought I would post something funny. It made me smile, hopefully it will do the same for someone else. 
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
“If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside.. I just finished cleaning in here.”
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
“You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
“If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
“Because I said so, that’s why.”
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .
“If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store with me.”
6. My mother taught me IRONY.
“Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.”
7. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .
“Shut your mouth and eat your supper.”
8. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
“Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!”
9. My mother taught me about STAMINA .
“You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.”
10. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
“This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.”
11. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
“If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!”
12. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
“I brought you into this world, and I can take you out..”
13. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION .
“Stop acting like your father!”
14. My mother taught me about ENVY.
“There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do.”
15. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
“Just wait until we get home.”
16. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
“You are going to get it when your father gets home!”
17. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
“If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way.”
18. My mother taught me ESP.
“Put your sweater on; don’t you think I know when you are cold?”
19. My mother taught me HUMOR.
“When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.”
20. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
“If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.”
21. My mother taught me GENETICS.
“You’re just like your father.”
22. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
“Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?”
23. My mother taught me WISDOM.
“When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.”
24. My mother taught me about JUSTICE .
“One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you.”
“The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” ~Oscar Wilde
16 Dec 2010 Leave a Comment
in Friends, Life, School Tags: Christmas, Destrey, homework, job, life, school, shopping
I love my job, I hate my job. I love most of the people there, I love that I can earn my own money, I love that it lets me have a life. But I hate working past ten o’ clock at night, I hate having four bosses who contradict each other, I hate that no one takes more time to train me. I have been working for a little over two and a half weeks, but it feels like a lifetime because of how much I have learned in those weeks. I love working behind the jewelry counter, I love working fitting room, I slightly enjoy doing women’s clothing. On the other hand I hate purses and home/gift ware, but I know I can’t always pick. To me it is just a decent job for now, it brings in more money then I have earned in my entire life. And it helps that I have made friends.
As for Christmas, I got all of my basic Christmas shopping done in 1 day with $105, for 4 people. I went shopping with Destrey, my boyfriend (loving saying that), and he helped a lot. Now I am just picking up a few random things here and there, some extra gifts or stocking stuffers. Now I just need to work on Destrey’s gifts, thankfully I have until January 3rd since he is going out of town.
School isn’t so great right now. My Crohn’s decided to give me an early Christmas present and I have missed five days in the last two weeks. So on top of my job I have to squeeze in make up work. And it’s not working out so well. Right now my daily schedule is like this: Wake up at 6:30, go to school at 7:40 until 3:30, home my 3:45, do homework until 4:00, get ready for work and leave by 5:30, work from 6:00 to 10:30ish, get home around 11:00, go to sleep, and repeat. Not a lot of time for homework already, especially with an AP class, but thankfully my AP English teacher has been light with homework lately so I have a little time. But I am going crazy because no where in my schedule do I have time for fun. Even on weekends I am working 7 hour days, and the rest of the time I have homework, I need to eat something at least once a week, and I’m catching up on lost sleep. So it’s hard, and my grades are suffering pretty bad right now, but I hope as I work on this schedule I will get faster at things and more time will open up.
Right now though, life is good. My car is running, we’ve had a snow day, I have a wonderful boyfriend, I’m making my own money, and I have winter break in 2 days!
“All things are difficult before they are easy.” ~Thomas Fuller
25 Nov 2010 Leave a Comment
in Life Tags: pain, tired, work
So much pain! Every muscle in my body is still screaming at me! Cursing me for the effort I had to put on them at work! They made me work for 8 hours on my first day! Then tomorrow I have to work another 7! I am going to die before I get my first paycheck. My parents and grandmother can’t stop laughing at me. I used to make fun of them when they got home because they walked funny, I thought it was just because they were old. I thought work wasn’t that hard. OMFG, I was SO wrong! I ran, crawled, stacked, tossed soaking wet cardboard boxes in a dumpster taller than me, I was frozen, then burning up, I had to squat for 30 minutes at a time, and I couldn’t sit down for 4 straight hours! When I got home all I wanted to do was sleep. Unfortunately my legs and back hurt too much to let that happen. But when I did finally fall asleep I didn’t budge for over 12 hours. And of course I got woken up by one of my dogs peeing on my purse….
What a week….
I am not looking forward to working Black Friday. I have to be there at 8 am and don’t get to go home until 3 pm…
“My outer child is holding my inner-adult hostage” ~Unknown
22 Nov 2010 Leave a Comment
in Life, Wicca Tags: Beth, Destrey, Divination, Hanover, Prescott College, tarot, TJ Maxx
It’s over, my childhood is anyways. I got my first job today. And if I look back at my list, yup, that is the last thing to accomplish before I can no longer be a child anymore. I’m not saying I’m an adult yet, that comes when I get my own place and can make responsible decisions on my own. It was a sad day for me. When I my grandmother told me I went straight downstairs to my room, and I cried. I cried for a long time. Not only is a part of my life over, but I have to work at the only place I didn’t want to get. T.J. Maxx….
At least Beth got a job at T. J. Maxx too. She is going in for orientation the same time as me. Tomorrow at 4pm… Having a friend will make this okay.
And stupidly, for a minute I actually thought I was going to have to give up something to make room for this new responsibility. Instead I got something done I have been scared to finish. I finally applied to Prescott College.
Actually speaking of Prescott, it reminds me of a tarot reading I got done a few months ago. These are the questions I asked:
Will I have a close friend senior year?
Will I get into the college I have my heart set on?
Where is the best place for me to be after high school?
Will I accomplish my dream career, or will it change?
The answer I got was long, but I will see if I can shorten it. For the first one, it pretty much said this person was just waiting for me, I just needed to be careful to look out for negative people. I did find someone, actually two someones, Destrey and Beth.
For the second question I got an interesting answer. But first, I need to mention, at the time of this reading I was set on Hanover. As for the answer it literally said look farther. Not look more, but farther. And presto! I found Prescott.
The third question was clear according to my friend. It said look for a place I can express my creativity. And Prescott is a town of artists, musicians, and writers. Interesting….
But it doesn’t stop there. It said the path to get to my dream career would be difficult, and as of yet it isn’t extremely difficult, more elusive than anything. And this is actually where I first heard the term “trial by fire”. Apparently there may be one waiting for me. Which is scary, but I will survive.
But yeah.
Anyways, I did my own tarot reading last night, for Destrey, of course. I used one of my favorite decks first and I got information I already knew, so I was guessing it was trying to tell me I will just have to wait. Well me being me, I had to try again with my other deck. And literally the card I pulled specifically said a waiting game. And what I might want to look out for you ask, a clingy mother…. spooky. Oh and my last card told me of an opportunity in the very near future…. I hate it when my guardians get smart with me. I swear they are laughing at me sometimes…
Oh well, life goes on.
“May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make you happy.” ~Unknown
19 Nov 2010 Leave a Comment
in Family, Friends, Life Tags: Dakota, Dating, Destrey, family, happy, life, Relationships, Romance
Things are improving. My mom has gotten better. My sister and grandmother will never get along, but this is a quiet moment. I’m going to hold off on the apartment for a little bit if I can. I want to save my money before I go to college. And I mean it is only 8 months. What can happen in 8 months, right??
Oh and also, I might have a boyfriend. If that seems like a shock, it was to me too. I was just talking to him the other day and he told me he has liked me for a while. It’s funny that the weekend before we went to the movies together… But I’ve known him since the first day of school. It was an instant friendship with him, which is extremely unusual for me. But it was nice, and I trusted him. I was sad when the trimester ended and we didn’t have class together anymore. But now he sits with me in the morning, and walks with me to class, sometimes past his turn just to talk to me for a few more seconds. He’s really sweet, romantic, and absolutely hilarious. He has known about both my religion and my illness for a while, and I guess he is okay with it or he wouldn’t have still liked me. So far we aren’t officially “dating”, we are in that gray area between friendship and relationship. But I think that is going to change soon.
I really like him, and I hope this turns into something good. I could use it. I think this is what I really need right now, someone who can keep me laughing and maybe to prove to me guys aren’t all the same. I’m done with the ex forever. He was trying to hurt me when we talked last, and I’m done caring about him. He can ruin his life on his own, I’m done trying to help a hopeless cause. So goodbye Dakota, I wish you the best. But now it is looking like Destrey is going to be a part of my future, maybe.
(I thought I had mentioned him before, but I couldn’t find anything. Odd…)
“What seems to us as bitter trials are often blessings in disguise” ~Oscar Wilde
12 Nov 2010 2 Comments
in Uncategorized
I was hoping to post some good news after my almost month absence, but apparently the universe isn’t ready to put my life back in order yet. My dad is being forced to retire, my sister is having surgery in January, my grandmother can’t learn to be nice, and my mom can’t get disability. Oh and my car broke down again! This time the wheel almost fell off while I was driving.
Although I do have some good moments to share. I got my ACT score back, I no longer had a 26. I have a 28!! I went up in every category by 3-4 points. But I still got a 31 in Reading, but I still love that number.
And because it is a new trimester at my school I have new classes. They aren’t that bad. I have Money Skills, AP English IV, Global Issues, Relationships, and Arts & Humanities. I LOVE my third block, the teacher is soooo funny, and he teaches the real stuff, not some textbook crap. The rest is kind of blah.
As for Nanowrimo, not so good. Actually…. it’s very, very bad. I didn’t think it would be this hard. I’m going to spend this entire weekend in my room trying to catch up!
Oh and did I mention I was betrayed in the worst way by my ex boyfriend. And I might be moving out since my mom refuses to buy me anything because I don’t have a job. And I’m not being a rebellious teenager here. She refuses to buy me clothes that fit since I lost so much weight. I’m practically drowning in them, and they are years old. Besides it’s not like I’m asking for designer clothes, I don’t care if it is from Walmart! She even refuses to give me chore money so I can buy my own clothes. And it’s causing fights, I can’t handle all of this at once. So yeah I will get a job, but the consequence for the way she is pushing me is I’m moving out. If she refuses to speak to me politely or prove me with the things I need I will provide them for myself. It honestly feels like that is what she wants.
As for college, I’m 90% sure I will get a really good scholarship from Prescott. That’s the whole reason I took the ACT a second time.
My life has flipped upside down and been set on fire by the people closest to me.
I just keep repeating:
“8 more months…8 more months…8 more months…”
Then I will have my fresh start and I can move on forever.
Just 8 more months…
“May good luck be your friend in whatever you do and may trouble be always a stranger to you.” ~Irish Blessings
16 Oct 2010 Leave a Comment
in Life, Wicca Tags: 18, halloween, luck, pagan, Pumpkin, Sabbats, Samhain, wicca
Ever since I have turned 18 I have had nothing but good luck. I don’t know what’s different now compared to three weeks ago, but it’s something. I’m not saying my life is perfect now, but it has drastically improved. I can’t believe I actually lived to be 18! When I got sick I never thought I would get to be 13, or even 10, but here I am at 18 with no more shots, no more pills, and every year I get sick less and less. I truly feel blessed. So this weekend I’m going to hold a ritual just to thank the God and Goddess for giving me my second chance. I should have done it years ago but it never really sank in until now.
And after I finish that ritual I’m going to start planning for Samhain! I had a pumpkin I got for $0.50, but after about a month it ended up outside. I carved it last week so it dried out a lot faster after that. It was so cute though! I even found one last seed and planted it for next year. It never grows but maybe I will get lucky this time.
But as for now I have my first newspaper article due on Wednesday. I’m going to call all of the volunteer places within a 20 minute drive of my school. Then I’m going to visit some and get some pictures, do an interview, and type up a short summary of the place. Lots of works to do in a short time.
Here is my pumpkin by the way:
My pumpkin sitting on my altar, so cute!
“Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.” ~Jules Renard
12 Oct 2010 Leave a Comment
in Life Tags: English, Hancock Fabrics, job, lazy, newspaper, nook, wicca
I have been so lazy with my posts lately. And honestly there is no reason for it, I had eleven days off for goodness sake! I guess I was just enjoying the laziness, and my nook.
Of course I have still been looking for a job. And it does look like I am having some success. I got a call back from Bath and Body Works yesterday. I would love to go to work if I got that job, it always smells so amazing when you go into that store. And I might get a job at another store in the mall, Christopher Banks, they really, really, really need to hire someone soon.
Oh and I checked up on Hancock Fabrics the other day, and boy did I get a surprise! I found out that the woman that has been pushing to get her boss to hire me is not only the store supervisor, but she is also Wiccan! Small world. But that just made me love the job even more than I did before.
I’ve also been a wee bit lazy with newspaper duties, but so far I’ve got nothing. I need to find things around the community to write about, but the only thing coming up are elections, and that’s covered by the Political writers.
Oh and did I mention I’m 18!!!!! I turned 18 on October 1st. I was going to post, I really was, I even have a draft saved, I just never got past the title. I’ve just been having too much fun. I finally convinced my mom to let me sister out of the house and I took her to the homecoming football game at my school, we crushed the other team 64-14. And the next day I took her bowling. Then yesterday I took her out and drove ALL THE WAY ACROSS TOWN to get her the bucket of KFC chicken wings she has been dying for! Sad that I live in Kentucky and the nearest KFC is 20 minutes away! It’s a shame!
On the final note, anyone have a suggestion for a classical book I can read for English? I’ve been looking at The Great Gatsby, but I’m not sure and I only have until next week to finish, so any suggestion would help!
